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Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

US Speed Skating - Powered by The Colbert Nation

Stephen Colbert and the Colbert Nation’s  sponsorship of the US speed skating team was a story I wrote about when it first came about, but I foolishly haven’t been posting on any of the latest developments. Back in November, City of Richmond spokesperson Ted Townsend wrote to Stephen inviting him to come to the games as an official ombudsman to ensure no funny business would happen (at the time Colbert was hammering Canada about not letting the US get enough practice time at the Richmond Olympic Oval.) Stephen stated he would be coming to the games, but only if it were as a member of the US Olympic Team (I guess he couldn’t stand to wear a pink toque the whole time.) So began Stephen Colbert’s Skate Expectations: Kicking Ice and Taking Donations On The Slippery Slope Down The Icy Path To The Frozen Road Up To Vancouver ’010 and his bid to join the US Olympic Team.

First came his attempts to join the skeleton and bobsleigh teams. These efforts failed despite Cobert’s “God given talent for lying down and surrendering to the effects of gravity”. He was further hindered by the fact that most members of the bobsleigh squad do not enjoy “a little vomit on their Lycra.” Next, Colbert tried to “HURRY HARD!” his way into the Olympics as part of the curling team. Once again his efforts were to no avail. Not giving up though, Colbert dug deep, remembered that his first love is speed skating and orchestrated a hilarious race with World Champion Shani Davis. All of Stephens well developed cheating instincts failed him, as Shani went on to decimate him, despite a head start of over 10 minutes. However, Colbert’s wily ways did catch the notice of the coaching staff, and he will be joining the team as an assistant sports psychologist. This is a fantastic development and I look forward to some great pieces of journalism from Stephen during the games. I’ve often wrote that I strongly believe in using the Olympic platform to shine a light on the fair city of Vancouver, both the good and the bad. The Colbert Report has and continues to be an excellent force for peering into some of the darker cracks in society and I fully expect to him to highlight some of the social issues that are present in this city. Previously I suggested that Colbert and Rick Mercer pair up for some international comedy dueling, but after thinking on the viability of this, I remembered that CTV is this years host broadcaster in Canada, and as Mercer is a CBC employee this would not work. Perhaps John Dore is up for challenging Colbert.

Apologies to those with Canadian IP addresses; you will need to click here to view the above clip, as the Comedy Network does not allow for embedded video clips.

• The Colour Red To Bring Notice To Homelessness During Games [/caption] While it will be easy enough to find red (and white) in Vancouver this February, PIVOT Legal Society is hoping that you notice the colour for a different reason, as they kick off a...
• On The Importance Of Signs As we've moved into the homestretch of final preparations for the Olympic Games, which kick off with the opening ceremonies here in Vancouver on February 12th, the city has been doing a fantastic of installing...

• Police: Bengals' Henry dies day after dispute [/caption] By MIKE CRANSTON (AP) CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry has died, one day after falling out of the back of a...
• Yankees owner George Steinbrenner dies at 80 [/caption] NEW YORK —George Steinbrenner, who rebuilt the New York Yankees into a sports empire with a mix of bluster and big bucks that polarized...

How long until this goes on tour in the summer? Perhaps it already has? There’s a March opening in New York. Advice to any ‘Dude’ that is timeless:

Now thou seest what happens, Lebowski, when the agreements of honourable business stand compromised. If thou wouldst treat money as water, flowing as the gentle rain from heaven, why, then thou knowest water begets water; it will be a watery grave your rug, drowned in the weeping brook. Pray remember, Lebowski.

Go watch this clip (it’s not embeddable) and then check out the alternate dialogue after the jump:

hat tip to Andrew Sullivan.

Here’s some geekiness and comedy wrapped into a nice visual data package for you as you get set for back to work this Monday (if you are like most of us simple peons..) From the wonderful webcomic xkcd. If you aren’t reading it..well, you should see if you like it.

Click to Enlarge

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